• Vijeta Gawdi

Storyteller: Shiva Dhanush- The relationship between a woman and a man


There is a popular saying that goes,” A father holds his daughter's hands for a little while, but he holds her heart forever.”The relationship that a father and daughter share is beyond words. We are parents to two beautiful girls. As much as I try, when it is time for these girls to pick sides, their decision is unanimous and in favour of daddy dearest, always. I am so counting on my son to be the proponent of Team Mommy:)Yes, even if my wishful thinking comes true, we will still be outnumbered, it is always going to be 3 v/s 2 but at least I will have an infant-ry , to call my own.

Sooner or later, the children will realise that daddy and mommy have been hand in glove all this while. That we have applied the paradigms of parenting, we ourselves have so painstakingly learned from our parents. The policy of Divide and Rule has brought down the biggest of colonies in the history of the World. So while Daddy has decided to be the mentor for team girls, I will do the same for our little boy. Our world as parents comprise of our children and while it is obvious that our intent is not in the least malicious, it does help to be tactful when dealing with the temperaments of three children at three different stages of growth.

The struggle for Independence should have a Bapu(Daddy), the satyagrahis(my little drama queens) and the unjust MOM-archy(me). It all boils down to management at the end of the day. My husband and I live for our children, the onus of their well being is on us. Our children are our responsibility, as partners in this little organisation of life, we are only answerable to each other.

Any form of partnership works on mutual trust, love and space. We strive as partners, to hold each other's achievements, failures and disappointments with a lot of regards. We are consciously aware of each other’s struggles on a daily basis and understand very well that it is only patience with each other that will get us through the ups and downs of life.

Today’s story is about the Shiv Dhanush.

The Shiv Dhanush was inherited by the king of Mithila from his ancestor Devaratha. The Dhanush was so heavy, that no mere mortal could lift it.Sita was no ordinary being. She was the daughter of the Goddess Bhumi and was the adopted daughter of Raja Janak and Rani Sunaina. Sita could lift the bow with ease. Her father found this astounding.

When Sita came of marriageable age, upon Parshuram's suggestion,Janak decided to give his daughter to the person, who would lift the Shiv Dhanush and string the bow. The date for the competition was fixed. A great many warriors, kings and princes came from the farthest corners of the world, but not one of them succeded. And then it was Ram's turn to lift the Dhanush, which he did effortlessly. A joyous and proud Sita was married to Ram.

Why was Ram able to lift the Shiv Dhanush?

The Shiv Dhanush as the name suggests was once Shiva's property. Two identical sets of this bow were crafted by Vishwakarma. They were given to Vishnu and Shiva. The one given to Vishnu was named Sharanga and the one to Shiv was called Pinaka. Now the Gods wanted to see who was mightier Vishnu or Shiva and so-called upon the two powers to engage in a battle. Now I am assuming, that the monotony of overlooking the operations of this world, sometimes gets to the Gods, so out of wanting a break, Shiva and Vishnu decided to lock horns. However just as the fight was to start, there was an Akashvani from the skies, warning them that their small indulgence would lead to mass destruction. Shiva immediately dropped his bow, which then fell on Earth and was called the Shiv Dhanush thereafter.

Shiv and Shakti are United in the soul. Only a person that has great respect for women, is worthy of lifting the bow. Ram was the most righteous of all and hence deserving of this feat. The Shiva Dhanush exemplifies the relationship between a husband and wife. The heavy, crooked bow is symbolic of being the man in the relationship. He is rock steady however without the slender string, that symbolises the woman in the relationship, to hold the ends of the bow in place, he really can't do much. The string holds the bow, with just the right amount of tenacity. It is the string that makes the bow usable. The purpose of the bow is to enable the arrow to find it's marked. A feat that is impossible without the support of the string.

Some day, when the children are old enough to do the Math and they find out about our Modus Operandi, I will miss this little game of ours. The pretence we put up, the silent smiles we exchange as we lead them on. The sparkle in our eyes when we see them take sides, no less than a certification of their love for us. The gratification we find in knowing that we have each other's backs forever. As we grow old and a little childish ourselves, we may find the roles reversed. Someday you and I will be the ones fighting and these little children, then all adults will pretend to take sides, laughing all along at our antics.

To my happily ever after.


Vijeta Gawdi.

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